Hallelujah
by CantChangeFate
Summary: OneShot. You have what you want, but you can almost taste what you need, yet there is something holding you back. HamtaroxBijou


**Hey there! Decided to branch out of Lost for a bit. This is my first one shot (and if enjoyed) will have either a prequel, sequel or both! Each section starts with Hamtaro and his feelings, then it switches to Bijou's point of view. Enjoy and please R & R!**

**I don't own Hamtaro or its characters. I do not own Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (lyrics used at each point).**

* * *

_**I heard there was a secret chord  
**__**That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
**__**The baffled king composing hallelujah**_

The fading sun cast a warm shadow on the dark, cumulonimbus clouds that began rolling over the Japanese sky. It was only a matter of moments before billions of clear and tiny water droplets would begin pounding the concrete sidewalk.

The lone Ham-Human walked briskly through his suburbia neighbourhood, desperately trying to escape his feelings and emotions. The thunder tormented and grumbled in the distance, sparking even deeper, more aggressive passions within the broken soul. He coolly tossed his orange and off-white hair out of his face, unveiling his angst cobalt eyes.

At this point, what difference did it make if it rained or not? He huffed back tears and crinkled his nose.

_Crying won't solve anything._

I know that, thanks.

_You can't stop thinking about her._

Yes, I can.

_Well, then, why so serious?_

… I'm not.

_Stop lying to your self and just face it._

No. I've managed all this time avoiding it.

_Just admit it._

Admit what?

_Stop playing stupid. You're in love with-_

Don't say it.

_Bijou Ruban._

He sighed out loud and let the final boom appease his consciences' answer. Rain poured harder and harder with each step Hamtaro Haruna took. His orange hair almost tarnished from the rain as it slowly turned to a deep rust colour. The beads of water slowly dripped from his hair, while his warm tears glided down his face.

The coral of the cherry blossoms glistened as the rain caressed its petals. Cherry blossoms were her favourite, since they didn't bloom in France.

He had never been to France, but she told him it was beautiful. He never assumed otherwise, because look how beautiful Bijou Ruban turned out. Her delicate and soft white hair always held up in two ponytails. Two sapphire ribbons swept her ponytails together, while one could lose their self in her sweet Persian green eyes.

The pair had this on-going struggle of expressing their true feelings to each other. In the past 17 years, the two had never once said how they really feel, although Bijou had hinted at it. It wasn't until Hamtaro had finally matured that all the hidden or mixed messages Bijou had said finally sunk in.

His feet squished with every step he forced himself to take. The ground was soaked and the rain really had no plans of stopping anytime soon. Finally, the sodden hamster reached his undersized bungalow home that he shared with his good friends Oxnard, Boss and Stan. Since the four had been young, they had managed through thick and thin, but today was different. They had graduated college a week earlier and the three were off doing their own thing. Oxnard had gone to the sunflower farm to visit Pepper, while Boss was out visiting an old friend and Stan, well, who really knows where he went off to.

He stopped at his house and admired its captivating beauty. He remembered the day the four of them moved in and all the warm memories that came with it. Despite its small size, the foliage that grew in the yard was wondrous against the cream brick of the house. The sangria roof complimented the cream well in addition to proving how the myrtle door accented it's contrasting red.

Hamtaro turned the key to reveal the cluttered and dirty foyer, stamped with pairs of shoes and mud. He kicked off his drenched shoes and continued to the kitchen. His tears had dried on his broken face and stupidly, he felt himself licking the salty tears. The fridge stank of a reeking odour and Hamtaro decided against eating anything. Instead, he walked to his room and began rummaging.

He knew what it looked like, the colour, size, weight. He threw open his closet and fumbled through countless of unopened boxes until he pulled it out. The deep chestnut wood contained the heart and soul of his previous life, one that could never exist. Sobbing uncontrollably, the orange hamster clutched the photo to his heart and felt his heart breaking.

* * *

Bijou Ruban passed the bus stop without hesitation. She was power walking, almost sprinting as far away as she could. She glanced back once or twice to see if he was following her, but to her disappointment, he had left too. Her cerulean ribbons drooped pathetically as the thunder clapped its disapproval.

She hung her head and ears, allowing the rain to punish her foolish decision. The cold droplets felt nice on her humiliated face. Her snow-white hair dripped and her eyes filled with tears. The emerald sparkle of her big, child like eyes was lost deep in thoughts and emotions. Each step hurt more and more to take.

I had to do it. There was no way I couldn't accept it.

_Stop kidding yourself. You've wanted this your whole life. _

I have not.

_Who are you trying to win over?_

…It was nothing, meaningless… emotionless.

_Then why are you running?_

Bijou muttered her newfound hate for her conscience as lightning flashed the Japan sky. Her navy skirt deflated from its normal bounce and she dragged her blistered feet home. She didn't care that her makeup (more importantly, her mascara) was running down her face because he was the kind of boy who didn't care about that.

The park became smaller and smaller in the distance as Bijou tried to make her way home. She suddenly remembered she had an umbrella, but more painful memories came with her girly rain shade. He had once walked her home from the Clubhouse (which was a very far walk) and they puddle jumped the entire time. Her mother had scolded her for being so dirty and muddy, but Bijou had enjoyed herself too much to care.

Slowly, tears rolled down her face and until she began snivelling harder than she could control. She forced her legs to move, despite her howling and shiver. She nearly smiled when her house came to view, but she shook the joy. She would have a lot of explaining to her housemates and best friends, Pashmina and Sandy.

The three had been friends since the day Hamtaro, Boss and Oxnard had helped Bijou escape her fear of being outside. Unlike Hamtaro, the two knew exactly how Bijou felt and supported her decision through all the years where he never understood. This was supposed to be a happy time for the girls, after graduating the week earlier, but today proved to be no different.

Their house, which was surprisingly larger than the boys, was covered in white siding with a gorgeous wrap around porch. Every morning, the three swung and drank tea to the view of their beautiful cherry blossoms. The buds had only recently bloomed from the trees he had planted. It made Bijou sick to look at them and she hurried inside.

"Bijou! You're soaked! What happened?" Pashmina questioned. _You have no idea._

* * *

_**Baby I've been here before  
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
But love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah**_

When the storm passed, Hamtaro had cried enough. The orange hamster, which was still slightly damp from his horrible walk home, needed a change in scenery and he knew exactly where to he had to be. It was a cherished memory he was fond of and a place he could always go to.

Closing his front door, Hamtaro turned the way he came. His mind retraced his every step, every action and every detail of what had happened. The sun was setting so perfectly, everything was smooth and then she just … gave up. Just like that, his stomach did flip-flops and twists. He hated the feeling she gave him; that warmth and kindness when she would laugh at his pitiful jokes or when she smiled her affectionate smile.

The hatch to his hideaway had been kept unlocked by Boss, who assumed that someone would eventually use it while he was away. The worn yellow door opened as if it was yesterday when Hamtaro had first entered this sanctuary. He was a small hamster then, with curiosity and adventure like you wouldn't believe.

The green table where Snoozer had always napped was vacant and the Clubhouse deserted. He sauntered in, like he always did, and held onto his memories from all those days. The first day he came in, Boss had been living here and it was a pigsty to say the least. Together, he and the Hams cleaned the place to be the talk of the town. There were also all the talks he had with friends, or just simple hangouts with the gang.

"Oh, I…"

Hamtaro didn't know whether to rush over and embrace her or to just wither up and die on the spot. His feelings came rushing to his fingers, urging her to hold her and tell her it's okay. Instead, he turned to face her. She was damp too, despite that fact she had an umbrella. Her ribbons, which he always adored, looked fresh and new and her face looked red.

"Hey." It was a start.

She looked down awkwardly at her feet, the tension mounting. He didn't know what to say, leaving him to just stare at her beauty. She looked up into his azure eyes and searched them for an answer.

She did her best to smile warmly at him, but he could tell it was being forced.

"Do you come here often?" she asked quietly.

"When I can." Hamtaro folded his arms into a soft cross and sighed at her.

She began pacing around the room, staring at the ceilings and smiling at various objects. Silence fell for a minute, but she broke it first.

"Do you remember the day I first came here?" she questioned. She flashed her curious and striking emerald eyes into his.

"How could I ever forget." It truly was a spectacular day. It was the first day he had ever seen her so happy and it was all through his hard work. She had looked so adorable too, but he had been too immature to understand.

"I'm-," they both started.

"Sorry, you go-,"

"No, please." The two flushed a deep crimson and they paused. Bijou started first.

"Hamtaro," she began softly. "I didn't mean to run. I… I was just overwhelmed. It's been 17 years and I've always tried to hint at my feelings for you, but all … all I ever received was a cold shoulder." Tears formed in her eyes, breaking his heart and creating a never-ending feeling of guilt.

He took a step closer to her, feeling the overwhelming need to hold her petite body tight.

"I … I've never felt the way I do with you with anyone else. I can't explain it and," he paused, taking another step forward. "I think you feel it too." His butterflies tickled his stomach as he stood only feet away from her, just longing to touch her one last time.

Bijou looked down and let the air hang. A painful silence fell and neither said anything.

* * *

When she finished explaining, both Pashmina and Sandy had their mouths hanging open. The two looked at each other then back to Bijou, who stood there dripping with water. Neither of them spoke, but Bijou knew what they meant. A shy look of embarrassment streaked her delicate face as Pashmina and Sandy gave looks of disapproval. Sobbing slightly, she dropped her bag and left her depressed house for her getaway.

No one knew how much she came here in her spare time, but it was the only place to think without anyone breathing down your neck. The Japan sky was a mix of fuchsias, lavenders and ambers, while clouds gently rolled, relaxing her somewhat.

It was like a movie rewinding and replaying over and over again. From the day they first met, to the handholding, it and now. Her steps were shaky and uneven, just like the past 17 years had been. She couldn't let hold her salty tears back and let them roll off her face.

_Why does he make me so happy and yet, so sad?_

She almost ran when she could vaguely recognize the door to her heaven. It was connected to an enormous red maple tree, deep within the vast park. The door opened gently and she climbed inside. The dark tunnel had changed little over the years, with its skinny width and high ceilings.

The Clubhouse door itself was very old now and tattered. Its normal bright and cheery yellow was now a deep mustard, and the handle wearing thin. Bijou quietly pulled the door open and nearly slammed it back shut. Taking a step in, she watched him adore the cherished home.

His orange hair was wet also, and his ears perked up. He always had this great physique she had to admit. He was built well in his arms and stature, while he had this sweet and loving nature. But the thing that stole a hold of her were his cobalt eyes.

Suddenly losing control of herself, she started speaking.

"Oh, I …" Bijou flushed in surprise when he turned himself to her. Hamtaro looked at her earnestly, his cobalt eyes drawing her love in. His face looked dishevelled, he had been crying as well. Guilt found a lovely pocket in her stomach and she held her head in discomfiture.

"Hey." She wanted to sit beside him and have his arm safely around her, while the cherry blossoms fell tenderly in the breeze. But, one can dream.

She needed to say something, anything. But her mouth wouldn't formulate words and her brain had shut down. Bijou noticed how dirty and swollen her feet were, but looked up to his eyes.

She went to open her mouth, but lost her train of thought. Her heart grinned in amusement, as she couldn't help the feelings his eyes gave her. Bijou forced a smile, which proved not to be anywhere near genuine.

"Do you come here often?" Her voice was barely audible, and forcing that out had seemed almost impossible.

"When I can." He crossed his arms, but it was more in a loving way than in frustration. She began pacing the room, smiling at all the objects and places that brought back so many wonderful memories. His eyes followed her as she began questioning him again.

"Do you remember the day I first came here?" she asked slowly.

"How could I ever forget." Bijou held back her tears and tried to relax at the tension.

"I'm-," they both began speaking simultaneously. Bijou blushed and started again.

"Sorry, you go-,"

"No, please." Pausing, Bijou tried to formulate her thoughts into proper and comprehendible sentences.

"Hamtaro," she whispered, "I didn't mean to run. I… I was just overwhelmed. It's been 17 years and I've always tried to hint at my feelings for you, but all … all I ever received was a cold shoulder." Bijou felt tears bubbling at the corner of her emerald eyes and she wished they hadn't. He looked so heartbroken at her and her guilt seeped in.

He took a step towards her, taking her off guard. But instead of running, she remained firmly in her spot.

"I … I've never felt the way I do with you with anyone else. I can't explain it and," he paused, then took another step closer to her. Her butterflies fluttered furiously in her stomach and her heart ached. "I think you feel it too."

She could reach out and touch his arms if she wanted, but she was immovable. Instead, she let her head hang and an awkward silence fell. _Say something, anything!_ But, she couldn't. She just couldn't.

* * *

_**Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah**_

It started out as a normal day. Since graduating, Oxnard, Stan and Boss had left him to travel for a short while, leaving the house empty. Hamtaro swaggered into the kitchen for any signs of food that was still eatable, but that proved useless. Instead, he fumbled around his messy foyer for his cell phone. He dialled it almost automatically, without even looking, expecting that adorable and sweet voice to pick up on the other end.

"Hello?" came a cheerful receiver. Hamtaro smiled almost instantly.

"Morning Bijou."

"Good morning Hamtaro! You're up early!" He stretched his head back to read his kitchen clock that clearly stated 9:04.

"I know, couldn't sleep. Anyways, have you eaten? I was wondering if you would grab some breakfast with me." He blushed slightly, and remembered yesterday. The two had gone out for breakfast at the usual place, like they did almost every school morning.

"Of course! I'll meet you there?"

"Sure. See you," he replied, grinning ear to ear.

"Bye Hamtaro." Her bubbly voice made him smile as the other receiver clicked off. He straggled off to his slightly messy room for some decent clothes. Sunlight poured into his window, illuminating its features.

His desk was covered in old school work and books, while the hardwood floor was covered in clothes and trash. His bed was unmade and his closet filled with junk. But Hamtaro liked it that way; it had an earthier feel he thought. Rifling through his dresser, he chose the usual; a pair of slightly ripped jeans and his orange sunflower button up.

Brushing his hair once or twice with his hands, he grabbed his wallet and ran out the door. The morning was beautiful and he decided to enjoy it. His orange hair danced in the wind as Hamtaro walked to the diner.

It was a small place they had found when they first started high school. It was cheesy, but cute nonetheless. It's red roof and white siding gave it curb appeal, while the real beauty lay inside. A tiled bar took up the middle, while red leather booths lined the windows.

Digging his hands into his pockets, he jogged to the front door and pulled it open. Bijou was waiting quietly in a booth that overlooked the park and waved him over. She smiled her infamous heart aching smile and he slid in the seat across from her.

She looked wonderful, with a white blouse and navy skirt. Her blouse was collared with white fur and cut shortly before the end of the shoulder.

"I ordered for you, the usual," she told him.

"Short stacks with a side of bacon?" they replied in unison. Together, they laughed until their stomachs hurt and awaited their food. By the time it arrived, Hamtaro had felt comfortable and happy. Bijou seemed extra giggly today and he couldn't figure it out.

"You seem really happy today, Bijou," he commented quietly.

She laughed again. "I'm not allowed to be excited to see you?" She winked jokingly and continued eating. Hamtaro felt his face flush and he looked out the window.

"Let's go for a walk after," he said, not removing his eyes from the sparkling greens. Bijou followed his eyes and beamed warmly at the cherry blossoms.

"Sure! I love walking through the cherry blossoms." _Just like I love being with you._

The two finished their meals and paid the bill (which Hamtaro insisted he pay for both). They left the diner and strolled down towards the park. In the distance clouds seemed to roll in, but neither hamster took notice.

The park itself was massive and emitted a radiance of colours to the eye. The rose of the cherry blossoms and the green of other foliage contrasted perfectly to create an eye-pleasing look. A small fountain, which featured a marble angel, spurted water quietly in the heart of the park. The two walked slowly past the fountain towards the cherry blossoms, talking quickly and flirting incredibly.

A sakura slowly rocked to the ground as the wind picked up. Bijou ran up to catch it and placed it in her hair.

"What do you think?" she asked flirtatiously, spinning around in a circle for Hamtaro. _You look beautiful, with or without a cherry blossom._

"You look great," he replied coolly, causing Bijou to blush. She reached out for his hand and pulled him under a tree. They sat under the tree together and enjoyed a moment of silence.

"Hamtaro-,"

"Bijou-," they both turned to each other, leaving only inches of space between them. His heartbeat skyrocketed and he looked her in the eye. The two sat momentarily stunned and let their actions speak louder than words.

He leaned in slightly; afraid to disrupt the course of his actions only to find she was leaning in too. Pulling an arm around her waist, he placed his lips square over top of hers. His adrenaline kicked in and he could feel his tongue's 'I love you' running into hers. Her lips were warmed and slightly caressed in a lipstick or gloss, but whatever it was, it tasted good.

Her tongue tasted like the strawberry she had early and she smelt of an aroma that intoxicated him. He pulled her closer to him, as he kissed her more and more passionately. It had taken 17 years to reach this exact moment in time and he did not want to lose a second of it.

What had seemed like eternity soon came crashing down in a matter of seconds.

"Hamtaro…" Bijou started to pull away, tears forming in her eyes. _No, this isn't supposed to happen. _He tried to read her emerald eyes, but to no prevail.

"That… I… You…. I can't do this." He couldn't believe it. His heart began breaking into pieces, tears visible in his eyes. "We should spend some time apart, for both our sakes." Her tears effervesced quickly; her big emerald eyes losing their sparkle.

"But why!" cried Hamtaro. A single tear rolled down his face.

Bijou had turned to leave before Hamtaro snatched her wrist and brought her face close.

"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?"

"BECAUSE THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!" Bijou screamed. She yanked her wrist and began running the way they had come.

"BIJOU! WAIT!" Hamtaro yelled, but it was useless. She was gone.

* * *

She woke up in a slight daze due to the beaming sunlight seeping in through the window and the light calling of Pashmina. Scratching her head, Bijou stammered out of bed and out into the hallway. She picked up a note goodbye and suddenly remembered she was home alone for half the day.

Glancing at the fireplace, she read the clock as 8:27. Sighing, she poured herself a cup of tea and began reading the paper on the porch. She swung herself slowly as she divulged into the day's news. The white princess sauntered back inside only to find her cell phone ringing loudly.

"Hello?" she chirped happily.

"Morning Bijou." She smiled at her pictured image of his messy orange hair.

"Good morning Hamtaro! You're up early!"

"I know, couldn't sleep. Anyways, have you eaten? I was wondering if you would grab some breakfast with me." She glanced quickly at the clock, which read 9:05. Her stomach growled quietly and she had to admit she was hungry.

"Of course! I'll meet you there?"

"Sure. See you,"

"Bye Hamtaro."

Knowing full well that they would meet at the usual diner, Bijou had about a 15-minute head start. She walked back to her bright pink room and began trying on multiple outfits. After hundreds of combinations, she pulled out her signature white blouse and a simple navy skirt. Smiling to herself, she sat at her bleach white vanity and applied a good coat of makeup to her porcelain skin.

Doing a quick 360º, she hoped she dressed to impress and ran out the door. She had stuffed her bag full of an umbrella Hamtaro had given her, her clutch full of money, her cell phone and a stick of lip-gloss.

She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop smiling. Her heart did a twist when the diner pulled into view and she realized why she was so giddy. She practically skipped the rest of the way there, double checking her appearance every so often.

When she finally reached the diner, she found their usual seat and placed their orders, suspecting Hamtaro was a bit slower than usual. Strawberry shortcake for herself and short stacks with a side of bacon, the regular as she would say sometimes. Smiling at the window, she re-focused her attention to the light doorbell. His orange hair swayed as he escaped the wind and he looked so cute. Letting her stomach do a few flips, she managed to wave him over.

"I ordered for you, the usual," she told him.

"Short stacks with a side of bacon?" they said in harmony. She giggled uncontrollably until their food arrived, and even then she couldn't stop laughing. Her eyes gave him a dreamy look as she ate her food slowly.

"You seem really happy today, Bijou," he told her softly.

She laughed again. "I'm not allowed to be excited to see you?" she commented flirtatiously. Bijou felt herself winking stupidly, causing his face to flush.

"Let's go for a walk after," he suggested, as he stared through the diner's windows. Bijou curiously followed his cobalt eyes to the park, scattered with cherry blossoms.

"Sure! I love walking through the cherry blossoms." She beamed happily at him as he forcefully paid for both bills (though she agreed to pay for both him and herself). Leaving almost arm in arm, the two walked down in the direction of her favourite park.

As they neared the cherry blossoms, a single flower floated graciously down towards the grass. Bijou raced to catch the blossom and placed it cutely behind her ear.

"What do you think?" she asked him, as she twirled in a circle.

"You look great," Hamtaro told her calmly. She felt her cheeks turn red from embarrassment. She hated how anything he said gave her goose bumps, and yet, she loved it. Tugging at his wrists, she ushered him to sit down.

"Hamtaro-,"

"Bijou-," She had turned to him, and he had done the same. Their faces were inches, maybe centimetres apart. She lost her control on her breathing and felt her heart beat happily. She wanted to kiss him, more than anything, but she knew she couldn't. She didn't know why, but she leaned in closer to him, secretly hoping he'd do the same.

_This is a mistake, I can't._

His lips were slightly wet and tasted sugary from the maple syrup. His arm securely held her waist and she felt herself melting. She let her tongue move freely in his mouth and allowed him to do the same. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she couldn't. She found herself pushing him away from her body and the kiss she had waited 17 years for ending.

"Hamtaro…" Bijou began speaking. _I love you… but I can't._

"That… I… You…. I can't do this… We should spend some time apart, for both our sakes." She felt hot tears surface under her eyes and she felt the guilt sweep in.

"But why!" Hamtaro whimpered. Bijou noticed he was crying too and began turning to leave.

She felt a jolt as his warm hand jerked her back to his face.

"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?"

"BECAUSE THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!" Bijou was screaming and with that, got up and ran.

"BIJOU! WAIT!" Hamtaro was yelling at her, but she couldn't focus her thoughts to hear him. _What am I doing?_ Looking back, she saw he had gone.

* * *

_**Well there was a time when you let me know  
What's really going on below  
But now you never show that to me, do you?  
But remember when I moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was hallelujah**_

She raised her head to unveil her ever-flowing river of tears, stained slightly by residue mascara. He took her face in his hands and let her sob on his shoulder. When he was very young, his mother held him the same way he held Bijou Ruban to comfort her. She sniffed a few times then looked into his eyes.

"We… can't do this," she croaked out, her voice cracking.

"Tell me why." She shook her head. "Tell me Bijou," he practically begged.

"I CAN'T!" She was pushing him off of her, but he held his stance.

"You used to tell me everything, Bij. What is wrong?" She started sniffling and looked up to his face, now drenched in his own tears.

"I… I got accepted, early, to a university in France… I'll be gone in a year's time," she was sobbing.

"Why can't we make this the best year of our lives?" He wasn't giving up, not without a fight.

"I don't want to leave…"

"… So don't! I-…"

"…Being in love with you," she finished. He was staring at her and pulled her into a deep kiss.

"I'm not going to lose you, Bijou. I almost did once and I'm not having that again." Hamtaro kept his gaze and wiped her tears with his hands.

"But… how will this work?" Her enormous emerald eyes blinked for an answer.

"We can make this work… us work. We have each other for one more year together. When the time comes, we'll make it all work." He tried his best to sound reassuring.

She shook while she cried, so he held her and hushed her calmly. It was soothing and comforting, yet tense and awkward. The two fell silent for quite some time and let their tears just fall effortlessly. Finally, he had to break it.

"I'm sorry for kissing you," he joked, laughing slightly.

She stopped crying and laughed at his lie.

"You're not sorry."

"Not one bit."

* * *

Bijou had hid her face to conceal her tears, which had been falling quickly since Hamtaro had said he felt something towards her. Her face, now stained somewhat black from remaining mascara, peered into those piercing cobalt eyes and she felt his warmth around her. She couldn't help but sob on his shoulder, despite that she shouldn't.

"We… can't do this," she forced out, barely audible.

"Tell me why." She shook her head. "Tell me Bijou." He was begging for an answer that she didn't want to give.

"I CAN'T!" she bellowed. She wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn't. She had known for so long and no one knew, not even Pashmina or Sandy.

"You used to tell me everything, Bij. What is wrong?" _Everything._ Finally, Bijou took a deep breath and said what needed to be said, without too much detail.

"I… I got accepted, early, to a university in France… I'll be gone in a year's time," she croaked, letting her voice crack and her tears fall.

"Why can't we make this the best year of our lives?" Hamtaro questioned, his cobalt eyes gave that earnest, clueless look.

"I don't want to leave…"

"… So don't! I-…"

"…Being in love with you." She had said it; it was off her mind. She was part relieved and part terrified for what lay ahead, but he sealed it with an unexpected kiss.

"I'm not going to lose you, Bijou. I almost did once and I'm not having that again." She felt like an idiot crying in front of him, but he wiped her tears away and gave her a feeling of security no other ham could.

"But… how will this work?"

"We can make this work… us work. We have each other for one more year together. When the time comes, we'll make it all work." She gave a weak smile in appreciation for his valiant effort to make best of her dreaded situation.

That secret, the reason of her pretended happiness, had been kept for far too long. But now, she felt safe and warmth in Hamtaro's arms. After a long moment of silence, he began speaking in a soft, calm voice.

"I'm sorry for kissing you," he said almost half-laughing.

She looked up and gave him a lopsided grin. "You're not sorry."

He shook his head, "Not one bit."

* * *

_**Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah**_

* * *

**To explain the lyrics, they basically sum up what the chapter is about.**

A hallelujah is a shout or song of praise to God. It can also be sort of interpreted as something that is good.  
This song is really emotional and I think it suits how the two relate to each other.

I tried to make it more fluffy towards the end. :)

A prequel may loom in the distance (revolving mainly around Bijou's reaction to her news) and a sequel may come too, based on the year they have together.


End file.
